Be Encouraging!

Our fourth and final entry on chapter 1 was written by Katherine, pictured here as a baby. She appeared to be enjoying herself then, and I think you'll enjoy reading her thoughts on Galinsky's work now!

Focus and self-control are two qualities that are very important for young children to practice and learn because they are skills that we all use on a daily basis. This allows children to be able to see what is going on in their environment and adapt accordingly. The world we call home is constantly changing. We are continuously growing and adapting to the changes that are taking place. Self-control allows children to practice delayed gratification. By delaying gratification children are also learning how to regulate their emotions. Emotional regulation is a concept that takes time for children to develop. In the school system children are expected to learn, duplicate and apply the ideas that are spoken to them. This process starts at infancy and stays with the child all of his life. Children learn so much from their parents’ example so this is something about which we need to constantly be aware. From the earliest moments of life, children are observing and interacting with their environment. When children are engaged they are learning how to focus. They are learning how to be a part of a group and regulate emotions. We all have feelings but most are able to keep them under control because we were taught how. In a child, focus and self-regulation are constantly interacting.

My dad loved playing games with us and I truly believe that this helped our ability to focus and self regulate. It was my time to bond and communicate with my dad but it also allowed me to learn something new. Playing board games is a great way to help children. Games encourage children to think in a different way and problem solve. Reading out loud gives children a chance to practice focusing. My parents also encouraged us to be very independent. I taught myself how to ride a bike when I was three. There was a part of me that was so eager to learn the things that I did not yet know how to do. I would see my brother playing and I had to be a part of it. Sometimes children need to be free to make decisions on their own. Children know when they are ready and sometimes all you need to do is step back and let time take the lead. This is the reason we have preschools because it gives children a chance to practice these life skills in a safe and controlled environment.

One of the big questions people wonder about is ‘how can we incorporate this into a preschool classroom?’ Well, one of the first things you can do as a teacher is know your children and know where they are developmentally. You can learn so much by taking a few minutes to watch and observe. Have activities in the classroom where children are taking turns and sharing with one another. Games are very important. “Red Light, Green Light” is a great game to play, along with “Simon Says.” We need to create an environment where learning is fun. When we create this atmosphere children thrive because they are the ones who are focusing and directing their learning. Encourage a child who is upset to not dwell on their feelings but direct it to something else. Encouraging redirecting is so powerful because it puts the child back in control. Children feel helpless when they are upset. This insecurity shows and teachers need to be able to recognize it. Focus and self-regulation are not things that are going to happen overnight; children are constantly working them out. Children need encouragement and that is where our role as teachers and parents come in.