Understanding Myself and Others

Migow wrote our latest entry on chapter 2, and has included this incredibly cute picture. She explained: "This picture is my niece and her little cousin. I don't know how she knows, but she knows which children are smaller than her, and she knows how to be gentle and friendly with them. My sister tells me she always tell my niece to be gentle with babies and to not play as rough with them as she does with the older children, and so she hugs them and share toys with them." Pretty good perspective taking, I'd say. Happy reading!


Do you want someone to listen to you when you’re having a bad day? If you answered yes, do you take the time to listen to others when they have a bad day? In chapter two of Galinsky’s book, she provides a lot of good examples of perspective taking that I’m sure many of us can relate to. I love the way Galinsky tells a story from the parents' perspective about issues they are having, and then goes into detail about how they can help resolve their problems. For example, one parent took the time to analyze a fighting crisis between her two children and came to realize that the fight was to get attention. As we learn in child development, children at this age will do unexpected things and must go through a learning process.

My little niece provides a good example of the learning process that kids must go through. She looks very innocent and always finds a way to get whatever she wants. For example, one day she took a toy away from her cousin, and then started crying. My sister thought she was crying because her cousin wouldn’t give the toy to her. Having seen what had happened, I pulled my niece aside to talk to her. I explained to her that it was not nice to take things from people and that she can’t blame others if they have not done anything wrong to her. I also explained that it hurts her cousin’s feelings when she takes things away without asking. After explaining what she did wrong, she gave the toy back to her cousin. Making a child understand both sides is very important, otherwise, they learn to only indulge themselves.

We also wonder why children believe the way they do. Galinsky points out that in order for children to understand and learn perspective taking, we as adults have to learn it ourselves. I witnessed a scene between a boy and his mother while walking into the office at work one day. The boy had gotten into a fight and his mother was there to pick him up. As I approached, I overheard the mother aggressively ask him why he had not hit the other boy back if he knew that he was going to get in trouble. After hearing this, it made sense to me what Galinsky was trying to point out. If the parents are not directing their children in a positive direction, how can the child be successful? If parents were to teach children better ways to solve problems, then children would most likely have better coping skills. As Galinsky mentions, they may be less likely to be aggressive and less likely to jump to conclusions. As a child development major (pre-credential option), I am definitely going to teach my children healthy ways to solve problems. It is crucial to explain perspective taking to children because we use it every day without realizing it.

Galinsky also gives nine suggestions on how adults can help children understand perspective taking. I strongly agree with suggestion three: Building a strong relationship with your child is the best way to learn perspective taking. It is important to have that bond with your child because the child knows that they will be safe no matter what happens. The author mentions that researcher Ross Thompson discovered that when a child feels safe and secure, they are more able to understand the feelings of others. Even though I did not come from a rich family, my father always taught my siblings and me that money cannot buy everything. He taught us that money does not make the world, but that you make the world. My dad always made sure that I ate all food on my plate because there are people out there that go hungry.

In conclusion, perspective taking should be an important skill for children to learn. I believe this is important and should be taught in classes. It has made me learn and realize things that I have never thought of before. Now I can apply things I learn to my everyday life. I will definitely teach perspective taking to my future classes and to my little ones, especially my little niece.