This is a childhood photo of Misti, the author of our third entry on chapter 6. She said, "This was around Christmas, and according to the date stamp, 2 days after my second birthday. I was trying to open that container because, let's face it, at 2 years old, anything brightly colored and that hard to open is either a toy or candy! I look pretty frustrated, so I thought that the picture suited my chapter well." Happy reading!
Chapter six of Ellen Galinsky’s Mind in the Making was about the challenges of life. As we face the challenges of everyday life, stress is likely to follow and dealing with stress was the focus of this chapter. It is important that children are allowed to experience adversity in order to learn appropriate coping mechanisms. Galinsky gives 13 suggestions that promote healthy stress relief practices in families.
Galinsky suggests that teaching kids to deal with stress requires that parents set an example by dealing with their own stress in a healthy way. She also mentions that it is important to let children experience stress, and I agree. We live in a society that protects children from everything instead of allowing them to learn from their mistakes. It is important that children learn through both influence and experience. Children should be allowed to play and experience the stresses of life first hand. It is important for parents to teach their children to handle stress as it occurs in their lives. By helping a child through something that overwhelms them, they will learn to deal with similar situations on their own in the future. I think that parents who practice healthy coping and provide scaffolding for their children as they deal with stress will also help them learn healthy coping.
As a child, I was taught to work well under pressure. My mom taught me to deal with my problems by working through them. When I was having issues, my mom would encourage me to take a break from the stress and then start over, working until my task was accomplished. One great example of this has to do with my favorite hobby. As a teenager, I started baking and learning how to decorate cakes. When I would get frustrated with how my work was turning out, my mom would encourage me to take a small break, rest, get my mind off of the cake and return later when I would be less frustrated with my task. This always worked well and I have realized now that I can apply that technique to other activities such as school work.
This chapter reminds me of one of the common parenting tips that parents pass around to each other: if a child hurts himself, let the child react before you react. If a child is taught that falling and hurting herself should be stressful, she will cry every time she falls and not just when she is hurt. It is important to teach children that in every situation, people must consider the magnitude of the problem before reacting. If we teach our children this, they are less likely to be the over reacting type.
The best advice I could give to parents after reading this chapter is: let your children experience challenges alone and teach them to deal with the stress together. Coping skills are very important to the healthy development of a child. The first step to building coping skills begins at birth. It takes a strong attachment between caretaker and child to ensure that the child understands that his needs are worth taking care of. The child must learn that someone will take care of him when he is stressed before he can learn to take care of his own needs.
This book is a wonderful tool for those who have or work with children. It is important to understand the significant developing skills that children are learning and how we as caretakers can promote the healthy growth of these tools. We must understand how children learn skills such as dealing with stress. By teaching children how to actively deal with stress, we better prepare them for larger problems later in life. Stress is a common problem in the fast paced lifestyle of our country. If we can teach our children to deal with stress at an early age, we will set them up to be successful people with less of the negative effects of stress in their life.
COMMENT: Not only have you really supported your responses to Galinsky's ideas with great examples from your own life, but you've gleaned wonderful advice to give to parents. Very insightful. Wouldn't it be great if all caretakers read this book -- and your entry?!
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