The Importance of Guidance

Monique wrote our first entry on chapter 7, the final chapter of the book. She said this of her childhood picture: "The picture is my sister, who is 2, and me when I was 4. My grandmother loved to dress us up in hats and dresses." It's probably safe to say that the dress-up initiated by her grandmother helped facilitate a lot of self-directed dramatic play -- just what Galinsky ordered! Enjoy reading, and be sure to check out the second, more current, picture of Monique at the end of the entry.

Galinsky focuses on the topic of self-directed engaged learning in chapter seven of her book. As a mother of a very curious two-year-old daughter, I felt this was a wonderful chapter for me to write about because I could relate to much of what Galinsky wrote. Some of the main topics that stuck out for me were: establishing a trustworthy relationship with your children; involving your children, socially, emotionally and intellectually; and lastly, elaborating on and extending children’s learning.

The first principle that caught my eye was establishing a trustworthy relationship with your children. From the time my daughter was born, I have always felt that she is not only watching my every move but she is learning from my every move. I was grateful to have a background in child development when my daughter was still a very young infant, and feel that, because of this, I was and am able to be a teacher to her. It is funny looking back on this because I would conduct many of the same little experiments that I was learning in class; for example, the power of our facial expressions and how they affect children emotionally.

It had been a very sunny day in the mid-spring and my daughter had only been walking for about a week when she saw her red wagon on the lawn; she decided that she wanted to try and climb into it. She looked over to me eagerly and I gave her a generous and reassuring smile, as if to say, “Go ahead and climb in!” She continued toward the wagon and looked back, and again I smiled. As she got closer, she walked slower and, with her eyes and hands on the door, she examined everything about the wagon from a distance, and then continued to look back at me and smile; I, of course, smiled back at her. She then attempted to climb inside, but did not quite get her balance, and fell and rolled. She looked towards me and in a calm voice with plain expression, I said, “ I see you rolled out. Would you like to try again?” She rolled back to her feet and smiled and nodded. She fell out again on her second attempt, and her third, but each time I gave her the reassurance she needed to try again. About four days later she learned to climb into the red wagon. It was at this moment in my daughter’s life that I realized we can instill in our children fear or determination, and that, as parents and teachers, we can either be a support or hindrance to how a child views the world, but most importantly, to how children trust the world. I think the outcome would have been very different had I run over and freaked out that my daughter had fallen off the wagon, or if I had said in a strong voice, “Get up! You’re ok!” I am in agreement with Galinsky that children look to parents for guidance and for feedback, and because of this, we are children’s best teachers.

The next principle is to involve children socially, emotionally and intellectually. I totally agree with Galinsky that learning is done through a combination of the three. I feel that the majority of the time, learning is acquired because of a social experience a child has; for example, my daughter and I were walking in the store one day and she saw a man with his seeing-eye-dog. The man was blind but he began to talk to my daughter because of her loud excitement over his dog. She yelled happily, “Look! Big! Puppy!” The man turned and told my daughter that his dog’s name was Rex, and that he needed Rex and his wife to help him at the store because he could not see; he was blind. Before this time my daughter had never been exposed to a blind person. She looked confused at the moment, as if she couldn’t understand why someone could not see. As we walked through the store, I continued to talk to her about the man who was blind and his dog and his wife, not really sure if she was understanding it all. As soon as she became distracted, I left the subject alone because I felt maybe it was too much information for her.

When we got home later that day, my daughter saw our biggest dog and said, “Mama, Rascal (our dog’s name) help me!” Although my daughter could not understand the concept of blindness, she showed that she understood that dogs can help people. This was all learned because of a trip to the store and also in part, I believe, in response to her emotional interest in animals.

The last principle that I found very important was Galinsky’s emphasis on elaborating and extending a child’s learning. As much as I agree with Piaget that children learn a lot on their own, I also believe like Vygotsky that children can learn so much more if they are given a guiding hand. One way to help children elaborate and extend learning is for the parent to simply talk to their child about their experiences, past and present. Parents can also repeat back to the child what they say and provide the child with feedback. Most important is for the parent to show interest in what the child is saying. I have learned from experience that children know when you are actively engaged in a conversation with them and when you are disinterested. I am a very busy mother, wife and student, and there have been times when I really, really want to hear my daughter, but I get distracted by a telephone call, homework, or cooking. I think every parent does at one time or another, but even a two year old knows when someone is not listening. I had been distracted by a text message one time and my daughter was explaining to me that she was coloring a duck. When I did not look up right away and instead finished my text, my daughter put her two little hands on my cheeks and said, “Mommy, look it!” Of course I could not resist her little, sparkling eyes, so proud of her work, so I put down my phone and started to talk to her about her picture.

I think the most basic need children have when it comes to learning is to know that someone is going to listen, as well as guide them in their development through life. Children look to parents and teachers to guide them in the right direction. It is our responsibility to our children and the children we teach to be there for them and point them in the right direction so that they will continue to love learning even into adulthood. Overall, I really enjoyed chapter seven and I will take each of these main points into account when it comes to my future profession as a teacher and also as a mother.

This is Monique and her daughter, Melody. "We love to play around with the photo booth program on my computer. It's our way to laugh and have a good time."