Preparing Our Children for the Journey

Abby submitted our final entry on chapter 6, as well as this photo of some of her family (and, yes, hers is the last of the photos I accidentally saved as the wrong type of file...when she resends it, I'll post it!). She explained, "The picture is of my daughter, Paula, and my son, Juan, when they were ten and eleven years old. From left to right is my niece Becky, who loves to read; my joyous daughter, Paula (wearing purple), who likes to articulate words; my handsome son, Juan, who likes Legos; and my niece, Roxy, who likes to draw. They are my strength in life." I think you'll enjoy reading about her children in her entry. Enjoy!

Growing up, my parents overprotected their three daughters. They did not allow me to visit friends during my elementary school years. Studying child development, I became aware that this type of parenting is considered authoritarian. “A helicopter hovering over her children” is an analogy often utilized to describe this type of parenting. As a result of my parents’ overprotection, I grew emotionally detached from them. I feel that my parents’ overprotection prevented me from taking on challenges. Growing up, I was timid and rarely spoke in class. I recall that in third grade an instructor asked me to complete a task. I did not listen to her instructions clearly and I was afraid to ask her to repeat them. I sat quietly gazing at the ABC boarder above the chalkboard. She approached me later and questioned why I had not written anything on the sheet of paper. I began crying.

Reading Galinsky’s chapter made me recall this memory. I believe that parents that are intrusive disable children from developing essential coping strategies to carry through life. In my childhood, taking on challenges was discouraged. Galinsky points out that taking on challenges is essential in childhood. Galinsky quotes Gunner: “A childhood that had no stress in it would not prepare you for adulthood,” (p. 253) referring to parents' shielding. Children who are encouraged to take on challenges anticipate future obstacles with reverence instead of fear.

Thirteen essential tools are described in this chapter. As a single parent, I feel strongly about five of these suggestions. These vital elements include managing your own stress, taking time for yourself, not shielding your child from everyday stresses, and understanding your child’s temperament.

I support Galinsky’s notion of encouraging challenges in children. My daughter Paula is thirteen and my son Juan is fourteen. Since they were small I have given them opportunities to explore the world. I believe that my children each have a strong will when confronted with everyday issues. They are not afraid to ask questions, like I was growing up. I model for them that managing stress should be done in a healthy manner. When I am under stress, I inform them of the situation. I usually tell them that I need to go for a jog to clear my thoughts. Taking time to take care of you is also essential. I tell them if “I don’t take care of myself, who is going to hold the fort?” My children praise that I live my life with perseverance regardless of certain obstacles. I don’t shield my children from everyday stressors either. They are aware that actions have consequences. When my son goes to sleep late and wakes up late he knows that he will miss the opportunity for his mother to take him to school. He then learns to take on responsibilities.

Understanding children’s temperament is also important as a parent. I believe that my children’s strengths, such as Paula’s willingness to take on challenges and Juan’s patience in analyzing challenges, will set them on a great journey in life. As an educator, I will apply Galinsky’s suggestions in children’s everyday experiences in order to facilitate their development of the tools needed to strive successfully in life.